My New Years Reflection; What We Make Other People


It's not the New Years resolutions that are the problem, it's that what we think we're resolving is not really what needs to be resolved.  Reflection of self has to happen first before anything can be resolved.  Will power has nothing to do with it.  In fact, using will power to push through something you really don't want to do is not only unhealthy, it can be potentially damaging to the physical body.  It distracts us from something deeper that's calling out to us for attention.  When we ignore this call, resistance is created and then failure of not following through comes next.  This could be why so many people only make it a few weeks.

My inner resolution has been not making other people into who I want them to be.  I realized that we simply cannot allow ourselves to be who we truly are if we make other people into who we want them to be.  This was my issue, I wasn't allowing myself to be who I was thus, not allowing others to disappoint, amaze and confuse me and be who they are.  Whether I was putting other people on a pedestal (which I've done many times) or putting myself above another person or becoming the authority of another;  all are equally destructive.

We give our power away when we make other people into who we want them to be despite the fact that they may not be anything close to the version we see them as.  This not only puts pressure on the person you're setting conditional expectations on, you're setting yourself up for failure simply because you'll always be disappointed by the outcome.  I've also been on the other side of it, trying to be what people want me to be and that's just as destructive.

So as the quote mentions above, we start with our relationship with our self.  This kind of perspective can be healing in a time of confusion and uncertainty.  The practice of living life in a more unconditional way (maintaining a positive or aware disposition despite how your environment changes) is how I've been able to find true peace from within.  Looking at each person I come in contact with as a mirror for myself.

Through the practice of reflection (getting still or slowing down), movement, meditation, returning (teaching) and integrating I've helped myself come out of some dark places and returned to the light and passion that keeps me childlike and curious.  My hope for this year is that I can continue to get closer to what's true for me, what I'm passionate about and express this you all in way that uplifts, heals and may cause you to reflect, return and integrate more of yourself.